Melbourne goodbyes and Californian beginings

Written in the car near the northern Californian state line. Wasn't i going to Mexico, that's what I was telling everyone else. So three days ago, The Orchard family (Peta, still a Godfrey but 'the orchard family' sounds so good) picked me up from Los Angeles International. When we found the car, Eamon propositioned me to return with them to Canada. Probably my only opportunity to do a Pan-American road trip with The Sloth himself, I agreed. My vague ideas or 'plans' were now swiftly forgotten and we cruised out of the airport with a car full of shit wondering what to do at 8am into big dirty LA. I didn't feel tired, strangely. My last night in Melbourne was a sleepless one, seeing the closest thing I can think of to god, onstage. The Omar Rodriguez-Lopez group was the perfect way to spend a final Melbourne night. Kroctopolis, Beau, mini-beau, bradman and I had a largely entertaining night, sipping post-omar beers at bar open, getting lost trying to make intelligent shortcuts thru the Merri creek and spying to the band buy kebabs on brunswick St. My brothers made sure my last night was a good one. After three hours sleep and a jaunt at lowlands with Irish Dave, The Moustache and my lovely Lizardbreath, we went to the Airport to drop me off. This Blog is about my thoughts and some of my experiences heading thru Estados Unidos, Mexico and eventually Cuba, its going to be self-indulged, long winded and rude. I might get too deep and probably alienate any subscription to such a blog. If i offend you, don't be, I'm writing an honest blog and if your in it, I'm sure it means i love you. It's mine and your welcome to see it. there's a small chance i might even say something funny...

So anyway, looking at a map and we choose to go to Venice beach 'cause I heard it in a Sublime song. On the map I see a bunch of other Sublime songs, Chili Peppers, poems by Ginsberg, Zappa's house where Morrison slept on the floor, San Bernardino (Ray lives there in a Winnebago and he looks like a potato), where did Hendrix bang a groupie? I'm reminded of how much these strange people love to sing about their lives in the good o'l USA. People love talking here, where people normally keep their head down, here they are selling themselves to total stranger and everyone lunges at conversational opportunity. After seeing the neo-anarchist hippies wake up on Venice each next a camera crew shooting a coke commercial, we got back in the car to partake in the non stop party on LA's 20 lane inner city freeways. Double lane overtaking, sugarmommas applying makeup in their long SUV's and the luxury of the carpool lane that no one is using. We checked into a best western in Hollywood and I had a shower while Peta and Eamon had a laptop party. We ate at a hipster vegan restaurant because that's how us and organic, cultured fixed gear bicycle riding Californians do it. Also because the eamonator has gone vegan and i'll support him with that. Shit, I'd actually go vegan if I could eat that food every night.

Afterward the sloth and i strolled around searching for a bar where we could chill and do a years worth of catching up. After a few more pints and strolls I accidentally stood on Donald Trumps star. Where would Hollywood be without "the apprentice". We gorked inside L Ron Hubbards 'winter wonderland' and then into an open air bar called 'the egyptian'. we had some shots here because they had a wine barrel full of free peanuts and a good rock band with a cute singer (very important). I told Eamon about my recent ideas and he told me about his potential new beginnings as a maths teacher until my eye turned to the singer again. On departure I complimented on her singing and found out that she was half Latino half Syrian (!!!). I promised her fans in Australia and a lucrative deal with brainchild records. She was an accomplished singer and a powerful performer. I got her email address on the side of my arm. At a karaoke bar I signed sloth and i up for a duet of LA woman to his unwit. As a pre-performance warmup we had an Irish car bomb with an Irish guitarist from a band also called 'eamon'. Our duet consisted of me rolling on the floor screaming in drunken Morrison fashion whilst Eamon 'got serious' with that bleary eyed drunken look of conviction. With Irish joining the retinue we headed to the 'rock' bar and were refused entry immediately. Irish and sloth took off whilst I questioned the refusal. He conceded, it was my 'first night in your amazing country'. American pride, a bouncers weakness. I ran after the Sloth and he'd already lost Irish, more antics in the 'Rock bar' until last round. On the sidewalk we met a bunch of punks on cocaine whom gracefully took us to thier apartment. We had a good time there and talked about Kangaroo's and John Howards bushlicking. We had to leave as a combined consequence of a bitters in arms gone wrong and our gracefull host wanting to bang his girlfriend. Drunken sandwich making at Subway ensued and an argument with a swift young Republican infront of me was how it all ended. Out the door we wen't when the sandwich artist threatened to call the police.

Since that night we have driven many miles north to Oregon. Up thru the valley into Fresno, past some hill billy's and into Yosemite National Park. Stunning landscape, a mammoth slate wall forged by a glacier 30,000 years ago. I drove illegally thru the vast park for Eamon. In the highlands we stopped at a frozen over lake that an agog park ranger and his family skated on. The Sloth and I waltzed around on the ice too and the extatic Ranger said it was the first time in 22 years that this was possible. I slipped on my ass and near broke it, to the humour of all.

So thank's for reading family and friends, love you all very much. Right now we are at Burger King, in Delano, Northern California. And a further 800 miles further from what will be my eventual destination. Mexico. So anyway, Delano! A small town populated by Red Indian farmers and also the location of Eamon's quote of the day. “I hope they accidentally put cheese in my burger”, looks to me “I'm such a shit vegan, will”.